The good news is that I’ve met the FMCG. Tall, beautiful, seemingly kind, Indian, elegant British accent, working on a PhD at Harvard. The bad news is
> I “met” him when a realtor showed me the house he is living in. I don’t know his name or what he’s studying or what he looks like from behind* or anything.
> He is almost certain to have a knockout girlfriend who looks good in scarves, is quiet but never, ever self-conscious, wears jewel tones and interesting jewelry, and whose impressively-populated academic web page has a link to photos of her being outdoorsy, probably standing by a huge rock in some obviously foreign land or northern California.
> Every time I try to picture him now, my fickle mind conjures up Mohinder from Heroes, who is pretty much the most fey character ever created.
I suppose the good news is also, creepily enough,
> I know where he lives.
I could stop by and be like, “oh, hey, I lost my MacArthur award the other day, and I’m just retracing my steps…” Or I could stop by dressed as a sexy electrician. Or! A sexy electrician who lost her MacArthur award! Eh, he’d suspect something.
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5 comments:
Not the FML&I?
...I've never realized before how cool it is that the comment box says "Choose an identity." If only it were always so easy!
Yes. The FML&I. Much better. Thank you.
Hmm, maybe you could request a second showing of the house? Then look for mail on the console table in the foyer? Or is that too stalker-y?
And btw, your profile has a pretty flash picture of you standing breezily in front of some exotic-looking dunes. All you need is that scarf (in a jewel tone, 2 birds 1 stone) and a necklace, and voila! You are that girl.
Ooh, could you Photoshop that? And maybe a nice big rock next to me? On which someone has spray-painted something complimentary, perhaps? No, no - again, too obvious.
When I read that, my initial thought was "where will I put the birds and the stone, and why would I need a st..."* But it is 5:57 AM and I am awake to go jogging. Hopefully no one will be lying in wait with idioms.
*Note that my trust in you is such that when you say I need two birds, I'm like "all right; I need two birds."
You do realize that we did a total role reversal there, right? I'm usually the completely literal one. I had to read your post twice to even get how you had interpreted that!
I love that you would get birds if I recommended them. That kind of confidence in a friend is a beautiful thing. :)
And one of these days, given enough time, I might just photoshop that. Don't tempt me.
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